Joey wants to kick my ass!

NO JOKE! He does! I'll get to this in a bit but for now........
OMJON, the BEST. NIGHT. EVAH!!!!!
SOOO MUCH SHIT HAPPENED I DON'T THINK I CAN FIT IT ALL IN ONE POST!

This is gonna be a long post so brace yourselves or skim over shit and not read parts of it, whatevs LOL I'll subtitle sections just in case you do want to skip to the point.

Arrival at hotel and Lunch
We arrived to meet some girls from online who we were planning to group up with us to go in and meet the guys. There are 10 to a group, so girls group up prior to the show to set it up perfectly. Me and my sis would have Jon for ourselves. My other sister would have Jordan and a friend to themselves and other girls that didn't matter cuz they liked the rest of the men. They were very cool and we all went to lunch all dressed in our whore clothes at 2:30 in the afternoon. The hotel was literally across the street of the arena. Perfect. One of the girls met us and looked at me from head to toe. I was like what? too much? But i didn't say anything. At least my breast weren't almost out of my shirt. I looked modest beside these women!

We wait in line and bitches start to push people around to get in first. *breathe* no fighting. not worth it. I felt like yanking they're fucking ugly salon fixed curls that looked like something you'd do for a fuckign prom. *rolls eyes* Bitches. At this point I'm fucking pissed and ready to go home.

Getting the tix and waiting for M&G
We get our VIP tags and my heart is beating five miles a minute not because of the meet but because they specifically asked to give up our cameras....mine being a monster of a cam, i refused to take it out and give it up. I hid it under my sanitary pads again.

Oh, did i mention i got my period that morning? Perfect. A bloody meet with Jon indeed.

So next thing I know I'm walking into a hallway (a hallway, seriously) wide eyed and scared shitless. They served drinks i didn't get and bite sized squared cakes, veggies, chips, beans in a bowl (classic) and all sorts of shit i never touched. How can people eat for Christ sake?! Fucking eating and sucking their fingers off from the chicken fingers and dip. At this point I'm about to hurl. I was still dazed and not really believing we were actually going to meet them. I remember being frantic in Cali when i went to starbucks. I FELT Went in the air around me and knew Went was breathing the same air. Not this time. I was numb sitting on a counter beside a sink watching women insult each other and give each other dirty looks. I swore a fight would break out at any moment. One of the girls in our group was seriously a dude. She even had a deep voice. Some crazy raucous happened outside in the hallway and everyone perked up and freaked the fuck out cuz they thought the guys were there (including me). The dudebitch turns back to the room and screams in a baritone voice "SIT DOWN! NO ONE MOVE! NOTHING HAPPENED!" I thought i was in a female prison. Someone's gonna get raeped! I scurried to the counter again and stared. She was fuckign scary. But i could tell she freaked too and got REALLY excited so she was probably pissed girls outside made a raucous for nothing and got her nervous. LOL I laughed nevertheless. I was soo glad she was in our group because there were ghetto bitches around like you wouldn't believe! Drunk and violent in high heeled shoes! One of them rested a wine glass on my sister head (cuz shes short) while staggering. My sister flipped a switch on her. She is short but has a big mouth. lol. I felt bad for these men who were going to receive these crazy bitches....in their arms....and have to kiss them! *shudders*

At this point I'm hardly blinking and breathing hard. Every once in a while I'd sigh really loud and strangers would look at me and smile. "This is your first time isn't it?" They'd ask. WHAT?! Is it that noticeable?! It was like we needed to be initiated to some cult LOL.

M&G. The one minute moment!
They began the meet and greet and everything goes haywire! They call the groups in by letters and they quickly go through the letters in a matter of minutes and I'm thinking Wtf? Why soo fast? Our letter was up before I knew it. "E is next!" the heavenly letter. That was us! I jump off the counter and fixed my skirt and ran behind my sis while shouting OMG! OMG! OMG! Not caring who the fuck looked at me. We step out in the hallway (seriously, a hallway full of a hundred screaming women). The madness that was going on around me was unbelievable! Girls were coming out of 'The Room' almost fainting or jumping and squealing.

My heart? Like a hummingbird.

I look to my right and I see a guy from a church I know standing beside his wife mortified because I recognized him LMFAO! If i wasn't so freaked out i would've pointed and laughed. The worst part, though, was leaving our bags on a random table outside of 'The Room' and there were bags EVERYWHERE. Leave my bag alone....around these crazy bitches?! My camera was still in there! I wanted to die at this point cuz surely security would find out. My sister kept telling me act cool! Stop making faces!

I dropped it under the table reluctantly and made a little prayer while getting in line with our group in front of a HUGE guard who kept telling the first girl in line to STOP TOUCHING HIM! lmfao! All the while I'm squealing with my sisters and freaking the fuck out cuz this was it! I thought they were going to send us to another room to prepare us with oxygen tanks or some shit! But nooooo! the Guard said ARE YOU READY GIRLS?! with a smirk on his face and opened the door....

FYI: the next paragraphs all happened in literally one minute and a half and blurry because of my contacts...no glasses.

Jon
There stood Jon with his back to the door.

I swear I saw a halo over him!

*Internal AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!* *Brain Explodes*

My mouth dropped and all I thought was I'M NOT READY SECURITY GUARD!!! I'M NOT READY!!!! We walk in around a table and one by one he kissed and hugged each girl in front of me and I just stared. I hit my sisters arm behind me and grabbed my mouth. IT'S HIM!!!! I was up next and I wasn't ready!!! He smiles and says "Hi!" and moves in for the hug. I just walked up and grabbed him and hugged and hugged and hugged him.

I FUCKING HUGGED JON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just stared at this certain spot in the ceiling while he's holding me and I can tell you the exact color of the ceiling and the texture of it at this point because I held on for so long my sister walked up closer and I snapped back to reality and mentally said Oh, I stop now. I stepped back and I just CANNOT lift my head up and look at his face!!! I was too damn nervous!!! My sister was up next so I had no choice but to let go and keep walking. I learned later on walking away was a BIG MISTAKE. He smelled of cigarettes. Ugh.

Jordan
I turn to my right and there stood Jordan in his sexy puffy vest looking....bored....of all things. Do not ask me wtf came over me at this point but I literally lifted my arms and squealed Jordan!!!! while doing the gimme, gimme gesture with my hands. He looks at me and smiles.......
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that smile.......*melts to duck sauce*

HE IS SOOO FUCKING HOT IN PERSON! SOOO HOT!!!!!
Don't ask me about Jon cuz I didn't look at him. Not yet at least. But I grabbed Jordan by the neck really tight and I'm literally thinking I can't believe it's really him! It's him and not a picture! I step back and grab his shoulders and run my hands down his bare arms and grab his elbows LMAO! HIS FUCKING ELBOWS! And I start to squeeze his skinny elbows. Squeezing and squeezing. I never knew in my wildest dreams I'd meet Jordan and grab his elbows out of all things....and massage them.

Again, startled by my own reaction towards him, I CANNOT look up to him. I just look to my right and let go. I couldn't...I just couldn't look up! He must have been looking down at me while I massaged his fucking elbows, still, but I didn't look up. I just kept walking and mumbled something like It's been so long or some shit. Don't ask me why that came out of my mouth because it hasn't been long cuz I've never met him before! *rolls eyes* The stupid gibberish shit that comes out of your mouth is UNBELIEVABLY RETARDED! I was instantly pissed at myself. He smelled of cigarettes and soap. Lovely.

Danny
I walk around some tall white figures (like I said, it was blurry) and once I did I saw Danny surrounded by these white tall frames. People, I think. He's sooooooooooo sweeet!!! He smiles the biggest out of all of them and he reaches out to hug me before I do. So I went up to him and just squealed in his neck and kissed it...or was it his cheek? but MY GOD was he short!!!! HE WAS AT MY EYE LEVEL! Maybe it was my tall boots but he was freakin' short!!! I was amazed. He smelled of expensive cologne. Mmmm.

Donnie
I don't remember how I let go of Danny but I all I remember was walking towards Donnie Walhberg next. Seriously, he looked like a pimp in shades! The asshole already has 3 voluptuous huge women hanging off of him! ALREADY and it has only been seconds. I couldn't see his arms because they were occupied by a waist and another ass. Breasts were aligned to each side of his face and he was smirking. Fucker. LOL I swear to you I like him the least but since it's a very rare moment I'm going through, I actually found him hot. Later on, my sister says she was sure he was demon possessed with some kind of seductive demon because we ALLL fell for it. ALL. OF. US. LMFAO!

Still in my bravery mode and in my best flirty tone I can manage, I say his name. I think I attacked him :-/

Next thing I knew, I ran and grabbed on to both sides of his face and sucked on kissed the space between his lips and my hand. The split second before kissing him I thought of kissing his lips but I thought the better of it. thank god I could've gotten Herpes! Once I did latch on I lingered a bit and shook him furiously with my hands while inhaling beep. I even moaned a bit :-/ *feels ashamed* Like I said, I sort of attacked him a bit. *drops head in shame* He smelled of a really delicious expensive cologne.

*sigh* Anyway point is. I fell for his pimp electricity too. My older sister tells me later that she was standing behind me watching me. She was beside Joey and looks at him because he's watching too. They looked at each other and laughed. Joey tells her, That was cute. She's funny. I'm so embarrassed. *rolls eyes*

Joey
I go to him next and quickly hugged him after waving excitedly and saying HI! Before I even go up to him he also looks extremely bored and sad with his hands in his pockets. He didn't have fans in our group so no one was going up to him. They seriously get jealous and sad when this happens. LOL So stupid. He just stood there patiently waiting. He's also SOOOO short. When I was hugging, my mouth was at his neck level. I mistakenly reached over and kissed his neck. Like kissed it full on....leaving my lipgloss stained on him. Haahahahaha! It was kinda hot if i do say so myself. I felt bad for the stain for a split sec but fuck it.

This isn't the point when he wants to kick my ass though. This happens in a bit.

Group picture
This is when i realized i had made a big mistake because I left Jon and kept walking. I seriously thought i had more time to go back and talk to him. Once I let go of Joey everyone was in place to take the pic. My other sister (who pushed me off of Jon in the beginning) shouted from across the room in Spanish telling me to hurry up so I can stand beside Jon. He smiled when he heard her. I mentally did a facepalm and ran....yes, ran....in front of NKOTB towards Jon. He caught me by my shoulder and I posed. I melted in his arms..... *sighhhhhhhh*. At the moment my sister is full on flirting with the poor guy and told him, "Damn, you look better in person!" He looked down at her and lifts his arm off my shoulder, proceeds to grab his fucking hair and pulls on it while responding (in a heavy bostonian accent), "And I just woke up." HE WAS BLUSHING!!! I swear if I wasn't about to shit my panties and in total oblivion I would've slapped the fuck out of him.

Like an idiot I just smiled and laughed nervously because there was nothing else I could do. I turned to the camera and they were still preparing it. I thought WhyTF am I wasting time looking at the cam when I can stare at Jon. So I turn and look up at his face. His faceeeeeeeee. He really did look sleepy and he hadn't shaved. All I remember was his stubble on his chin. He, on the other hand, was perfectly tall. *sigh* He was uncomfortable because both me and my other sis were just starring up at him in awe and he was awkwardly trying to find a place to look and not notice us staring. LOL! He gets REALLY nervous! It's insane. My hand shook behind his back. I think he noticed. And I struggled to stay straight and not tumble with my tall boots.

When we HAD to look at the cam and take our gaze from his face, I heard Jordan say really loud, "COCK SAUCE!!!" for everyone to smile for the camera.

Result:


I look so fucking huge *rolls eyes* I just wanna ball up the damn pic and burn it. I was debating whether to put it up. If I don't find a match soon enough I'll just print this shit out and put it on my treadmill instead.

But anyways do you see Jon's bracelet on meeeeeeeeeeeeee?!?!?!?! AHHHH!! I wanted to eat that bracelet the first time I saw it on him. *sigh*

After the pic sooo many things happened at once! I was already upset I didn't get to talk to Jon as much as I wanted. Not like knew what to tell him but still. I hovered around him and my other sister (marron dress) kept flirting with him like nuts! She has balls, I gotta say. He even asked her for her name and leaned in and even touched her face. LOL She has been obssesed with him fooor sooo long it hurts her. She was all over him like ketchup on fries. He turned to me (cuz i hovered) and all that came out of me was "Look! I made you a button!" and pointed at my button. He smiled and said, "I saw, hun." *facepalm* I never felt so juvenile. I just thought at that moment when the hell did he read it? I wasn't with him. So I guessed he was lying just to make me feel better. But my older sis (jeans, black shirt beside Jordan) said she saw him staring at my button before we took a pic. But I didn't see him. Whatevs, point is I felt stupid.

At this point security guards started pushing me to the exit from my back. I was trying to keep my gaze on Jon and focusing on him but people kept bothering me! WHY ME?! I was being pushed and i kept trying to look behind me and quickly look back to Jon who was talking to my older sis about where we were from and what nationality we were. He asked her in her ear while huggin her! *huge eye roll* HE DIDN'T DO THAT TO ME!!!!!!! I was just too busy being pushed around!

I was soo damn confused at this point! I felt a hand on my back rubbing it up and down. I said, Say what?! and I looked and it was Danny! He says "Thanks for coming" while smiling. He's sooooooooooo sweet!!! I just put my hand on his huge moob and rubbed it LOL! I don't know why I did that but it was automatic and felt nice. I probably did it cuz I knew I was going to turn back to Jon to stare some more and i didn't want to diss him. I looked back at Jon and he's still talking to my older sis. All of a sudden my other sis tells Jon, "My sister sings and she wants to sing with Jordan!" LOL! Automatically Jon starts lookign for Jordan and called him. HAHAHAhaha! he's so nice he actually called him for us. But Jordan had left to go to the bathroom or some shit (no wonder he looked impatient. He prob had to take a shit). My older sister is mortified at this point. All I did was stare and laugh.

All this was happening while security was pushing me. JUST ME! towards the door. I was like WTF?! GET OFF ME! I was soo confused that when I turned again from a hand on my back i thought it was Danny again and I turned and hugged him. But it wasn't Danny it was a Security guard! AHHHHHHH!!!! Soo confusing! I just went ARGH! and turn to Jon again. He laughed so hard. Asshole. All the guards where Puertorican, I can tell. So once my sis was like "We're puertorican" to Jon they back up a bit. HAHAHAHahaha! Never thought being puertorican would ever have an advantage.

I noticed all the rest of the girls in out group had left. WE WERE THE ONLY ONES THERE! and alll the guys were walkign us towards the exit door. Teasing us saying Jordan wasn't goign to preform cuz he broke his leg. LOL! I turned and said "Nah uhhh, I saw him he was fine!" and my sis was like "Nosa, STOP!" Donnie was jealous Jon was getting all the attention so he was tellign us stuff to get our attention. *shakes head* So dumb. Jon just stayed behind shyly chewing on gum. URGH!

After the fact my sister told me their experiences. I'll list them cuz they're too funny.
• Danny literally touched my older sisters boobs and said "Niiiiceeeee." She felt flattered and not violated whatsoever. Smile on her face.
• Jordan stared down her shirt while she was getting ready to pose. He lifted and dropped his eyebrows at her when she looked up. Smile on her face. He has sooo cheated on his wife before, btw. He's dirty.
• Donnie stands there and tells my older sister "Come here baby" and of course she had to go to him cuz what do you do?! He hugged her tight and almost molested her while she kissed him on his lips. Smile on her face AND whore! LOL
• When about to take the picture, Danny whispers to Jordan if he can swing my older sister by his side so he can also stand by her. Jordan says "hell no" and grabs her tighter. Danny is pissed and kneels on the ground. Jordan chuckles. THEY WERE FIGHTING TO BE BESIDE MY SISTER!!!! Seriously?! NO ONE DID THIS TO ME!!!!! pfft.

Whatevs!

After the M&G
Something really bad happened that I didn't' notice I did till I left the room. I'm ashamed to say it but i'll say it because I MUST have a problem and it's official I'm a loser now. Once my sis told Jon we were from Boston he perks up and says "Oh!" I was, of course, looking right at him. And ONCE he looks at me my thumbs worked their way up high to my face and I gave him two thumbs up!

*sighs*

I will hate myself forever. You're right K, I'm a loser. *hangs head in shame*
I almost fainted on the couch outside after the fact when I realized it.

Everyone was talking all at once and my sisters told strangers that i had hugged a security guard cuz i was so nervous. A whole group of people were laughing at me. I didn't care. I just kept thinking about my thumbs and their betrayal!

After everything was over we were running around insanely fighting pushing girls out of the way to get our bags. Dudebitch (girl grabbing Donnie and Joey in the back) from our group pushed every drunk girl out of the way screaming "MOVE!" and started getting all of her girl's bags and placing them in our hands. I loved her.

We stood there waiting for them to leave the room and we even consoled a women who had her bag stolen with her wallet in it. She cried with a beer in her hand while she sipped it. Mumbling about her things and how her baby pictures where in there. Then started crying even more while saying "My baby!!!" as all of us just stared at her. Of all things she cried more about her baby picture. She was odd and drunk. My sister looks at me and says, " I think her baby was in her bag." and looked back at her. I couldn't help but laugh. At the end her stupid bag was with her friend somewhere in the arena. *rolls eyes* Drama.

We saw the guys leave and hell broke loose with screams. I was ready to leave at this point. But the show was about to start!

Concert
We went in and OUR SEAT WERE 3RD ROW FUCKING CENTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't care and I hollered OMGGGGG in front of everyone as they looked at me. There were these girls in the front who turned back to me and stared. They had front row. I didn't like this so I look straight at them and said, "You lucky hos!" They didn't seem to like this and looked away.

The show was the same as our first concert experience except it was CLOSER! Jordan smiled at us everyone once in a while cuz he recognized us and the rest of the guys too!

Posters!
Remember my wonderful posters?! THEY WERE A WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was nervous at first and reluctant to show them the posters cuz i was sooo close. They were sooo gonna see them and knows I was holding them up. Very awkward but fuck it. It's once in a life time. When I showed them this poster.
I kinda had it down a bit cuz i was scared but then this crazy bitch behind me punched me in my back and when i turned she goes "PUT IT UP HIGHERRRR!!!" So I thought it's not so bad. I lifted it and i know for sure they saw it. The papers are neon for crying out loud. LOL! They laughed a little and kept singing.

When the song was done. I felt 4 sets of hands punching me repeatedly on my back and i turned again and they were all like "THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!" "THAT WAS FUCKIGN AWESOME!!!" simultaneously.

LMAO!

I was excited now and knew it was going to be ok. We were getting pretty famous in our section. LOL! We kept getting comments from girls behind me. THE BEST!

I knew I needed to show Jon my 'Frozen eggs' poster. I was desperate!
There was a perfect moment when they were alll on the front stage ending a song and they were literally 5 or 7 feet away. I frantically went in my pocket to find it and unfolded it and lifted it up. JON MADE THE MOST AMAZING HORRIFIED FACIAL EXPRESSION!!! He was soooo appalled and off guard, cuz he wasn't expecting it, he puckered his lips, widened his eyes and looked away saying WTF?! HONEST TO GOD the WHOLE group of guys literally stopped singing and doubled over to laugh hysterically. Donnie was punching Jon on his arm and laughing. Danny was almost on the floor. Jordan was doubled over with his hands on his knees. Joey asked what was going on. I never thought in a million years the poster would get this reaction. I will FOREVER have Jon's expression recorded in my mind. I brought it down fast cuz i thought he got offended. But the guys eased him and he laughed.

They finished the song still laughing and Jon comes out with a cam in his arms to video tape the girls in the audience so you can come up on the screen. I KNEW for a fact he'd put the cam on me and my poster so I got ready and lifted it up once he was close to me. HE TAPED ME ON THE BIG SCREEN FOR A LONNNNNNNNNNGG TIMEEEEE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHH! So long, I started getting embarrassed and hid my face with the paper. LOL he was laughing the whole time.

I LOVE HIM!

Again, I felt like 500 hands punching my back to get my attention from drunk girls behind me. They knocked the wind out of me, that's how hard. They all yelled in my face telling me how amazing his face was and "fucking awesome!" they kept saying. Ok! GEESH!

Joey wants to kick my ass!
At this point I'm too excited for my own good. There's a moment in the concert where Joey just talks and every girl decides to throw their underwear on stage. I threw my sisters thong on stage. She doesn't wear it so she decided to write her email and name on it and throw it to Jon. My damn aim is so bad it ended up on the floor inside the stage through a 5 inch crack. DAMMIT!

My other sister tells me, "Throw this!" and hands me her King sized Twix bar. Remember that? Well, I wasn't thinking properly I was too excited. So I grab it and throw it. Off it flies really high and zooms right by Joey's right arm. He steps out of the way and looks terrified. In and instant I duck down because in slow motion I see it getting close to him and I thought OHHH SHIIIITTTT!

I swear to baby Jesus I was gonna be thrown out of the concert. The twix bar almost hit him.
I stayed down and he shouts out pointing, "Who did that?!" Everyone in the audience was gasping and looking around to see who it was. My fuckign shit head of my sister is a fuckign traitor and pointed at me. I swear i wanted to to fuck her up right then and there! I was shitting bricks. THANK GOD he didn't see her gesture and he proceeded to say, "Someone's getting their ass kicked tonight!"

I died a little.

The guys in the back were laughing and Joey kept saying something I have no idea what. Saying something like he gonna send all 5 guys to kick my ass! (gladly in my opinion *pulls skirt up and bends*) and that he's from Boston and knows how to kick ass. I was like, Killah! WHAT?! Your ass is from JP! His ass grew up in a mansion in a richy neighborhood. *rolls eyes* Please asshole. You couldn't touch me if you jumped 5 feet to reach my head, you're so short. I laughed nevertheless cuz fuck it. He was pissy and being as asshole all through the show and meet and greet. Don't think I like him much anymore. Donnie most defiantly took the 4th slot and he's on 5th now.

He ends it by saying nah I'm kidding blah blah blah...

I stood up straight and it was over. The whole audience laughed. That's 1100 people all at once. A new record in my guinness book. I made 1100 people laugh at once. Perfect.

This ended up on youtube of course. Here's my debut to the world of nkotb fans. 0:26


The concert was over and it was amazing except for my plot to find Joey and bite off his neck instead...with a pound of lipgloss on.

After the concert
We run outside to find the buses in the freezing cold. I apologize to Joey fans outside who were in our group confessing it was me with he Twix bar. They were suprised but laughed. My sister still laugh till this day. Such an embarrasement. *shakes head*

We waited and out comes Jon in a white truck. So we left cuz we saw him and it was enough. We were walking to our hotel and crossed the street. While waiting for the light we see the white truck across the street and it was gonna make a left turn.....RIGHT BY US!!! We waited for it to come up to us and when it turned Jon had his window down and waved at us!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I jumped up and down on the side walk cuz it was the most perfect ending to a perfect night! He remembered us!

I LOVE HIM!

The End cuz I'm dizzy from typing. I'll post pics soon!

[EDIT] Pics here »