Have you ever worked for a Corporate company?
If not, then you must not know the exciting things they make us do. Picture this...
Shredding paper to make confetti, wearing stupid hats and crowns, getting on your knees (wait, no), crawling under desks, jumping up from under your desk and bust a move in front of a camera. All for the love of a stupid video they'll show at an event where 500 plus people will see it (not including youtube), just so people can get a laugh.
If you still can't picture it I can assure you that I certainly can.
The Director came to our office and told us at 4:00 that we were going to be in a video. Of course EVERYONE has to participate because its a must for all employees.
As I was on my knees under a desk with a plastic crown on my head ready to jump up and "dance" and wondering how the fuck I got there, I realized I don't get payed enough for this shit and it certainly isn't in my job description. To make things worse, the director stopped the camera and in front of the whole department told me i wasn't "dancing" enough. This was after he sooo demandingly told me to move to the front where I was in full view of the camera. Since all the guys are assholes and took up all the space in the back of the room, i was left to stay in the front. Fuck no, Director, I will not dance hard to make my boobs bounce in front of all the hot guys in the office JUST FOR YOU AND 500 OTHER PEOPLE! Thank you but I'll pass!
I was trying my best to stay calm and assured him that once he said "action" i would run to the back. Everyone laughed at this...
Did i mention this was all in front of Lispy? Yes yes, in front of him too.
Next thing i knew i was arguing with the Director and crawling on my hands and knees to the back of the room...while EVERYONE was watching....awkwardly. They already think I'm anti-social and never participate in anything and I know they talk about me. So I was being a great sport to even agree to do this, just for the sake of people not talking about me. Lord, the embarrassment!!! If only the ground would've swallowed me right then!!!
So the chaos passed and I went back to work pissed and worried i would most definitely end up in the video looking horrible and most likely looking fucking huge!
I'll let you see for yourself...
And no, that is NOT me on the bottom left of the vid getting hit with a green ball in my face at 0:38. NOT ME!!! *sigh* At least it was quick, right?!
:-/
I love my job with all my heart.*
OH! Did i mention a new girl from out department ran off while we were filming to go cry in the bathroom? I should have sooo done that!
*Fine print: I admit it, the vid came out semi-cool but the process of it was NOT cool! >-| Lesson here is: NEVER WORK FOR CORPORATE FUCKERS WHO MAKE YOU CRAWL ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES IN FRONT OF YOUR CRUSH...NEVER!!!
No, I'm ok. Really.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Drowning in the company Koolaid
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22 comments:
Ok HOW MANY TIMES DID I WATCH YOU HIT YOURSELF IN THE FACE WITH THAT BALL!!!!!!
You're a natural. You should quit that corporate gig, move to LA and star opposite our favorite inmate!
*chases after with an envelope and stamp*
*claps too!!*
*breathes*
Awww, thanks for you're help. I don't know what I'd do without you...
You'd still be working that dead end corporate gig, that's what you'd be doing. For my expertise, I will require 10% commission on all current and future work or unlimited time with that inmate...you decide. :-)
Hmmm that's a tough decision... :-/
10% it is! :-D
Damnit!!!
FINE! You can have him on Tuesdays!
See? I'm good to my workers!
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays! And that's my FINAL OFFER!
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays YET 5%. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!
Keep your lousy 5%!! I'll just take my days!! SOLD!!!! Oh wait if you can arrange for him to have a case of priapism for those days, that would be great! Thanks!!!
LOL!
I'll smooth it, slap it and have it prepared juuuust for you! ;-)
I'm sorry... I laughed so hard my belly's aching... But poor you! Next time, run for the bathroom!
OMG!
Your bosses are so cruel!!
Making you wear a crown and wtf!
You should take your boss to court!! Fucker!
I so get you love.
I would react the exact same way.
But the final result looks cool.
I just didn't understood the purpose of this video ?!?!
Why did they make this video?
Am I missing something here?
Lmao
And I was expecting to see you more in the video.
I watched it many times hoping to get another glimpse at you.
looooool
Anyways, I think the video turned out prety cool and the song is nice!
LMAO.
Laugh it up, Erica. Laugh. it. up. because it certainly deserves a laugh and not a cry or a curse or a fist fight in my part for that matter!
I will run next time. I will runnn! As far as my little pudgy legs will take me!
Van you got me! I'm still, till this day, wondering what the purpose of it was. You got meeee!!!
You can be my lawyer.
But I didn't catch you anywhere else! :(
My boss brings a band of elderly men and their wives who can't really play or sing on regular basis. Then these sweaty smelly old people play horrible folk songs and insist on us dancing with them. It's horrible and I hide in the bathroom too. or go out on the terrace pretending I have important work there.
Jobs suck.
Yes, thank god i wasn't in any other parts. My extraordinary debut hitting my face with a green ball was quite enough for me!
...and dancing with old men?! Jobs DO suck! >-|
I know I'm late, it's been 5 days since you posted this, but bwahahahahaha. Lispy was there?
I wouldn't catch myself dead getting filmed. No way. I'd pretend I was dead, or I'd lie I have a bad case of diarrhea, or whatever I could come up with even if it would get me fired!
oh yeah, is ur crush in that video?
Hardly. You can prob see his hair in one sec. I'll post a pic soon. :-)
Told the man about your video and he said you should now ask your boss for scale. And since it is now published work, you should get royalties.
Heart the song on the radio today, made me think of you! LOL
Scale? What's that? A bonus?!
If so, HELL YES! I should be suing even for filming my bad side dammit!
LMAO! You did?!
Ahhh, I'll forever hate that song with a passion as long as i live. But I'm glad it brought joy to your radio listening experience! Cuz it sho' don't bring me none! lol!
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