Where you there?

I believe God really was there and to think i was going to sing another song.

Do you know when you're completely lost and confused about so many things in your life. Sometimes things don't even make sense. Then something happens. Something makes you open your eyes and see everythign differently and new again. Something that helps you realize how silly you've been for a long time now. Worrying about things that are not important and spending too much time on things that do not deserve the time of day. Yes, well, i was there. Stuck in there for a while now. I still think i'm there a bit but Yesterday (Sunday) helped me see that i need to change. I always go back to this don't I? I Need to change!

*sigh*

Will this always be a struggle? I don't know. But I do know that I tend to feel this need many times. I guess this is apart of a believers life. Struggle, struggle, struggle. Always.

Last week i was sitting in church and thought to myself gosh these people are horrible today! lol Maybe i should sing one of these Sundays and help out. Give the listeners a break from the same people. And lo and behold i was asked to sing for Yesterday. I swear this alwasy happens to me. I feel the need to sing and they ask a couple of days later. lol

So i sang and in the middle of it i felt my old self again and i can finally raise my hand and thank Him with all my heart. Just when i was feeling that nothing would ever be the same and just when i was letting go a bit, I felt better.

If only i can feel like that at all times and never forget. But it's never like that. It never really lasts. The feeling goes away a bit—though the thought still stays—and you go on with your routine. This is when you fall again. Time. All i'm saying is i'm thankful God give me that gift. Because without it I wouldn't know where to be.

I definitely need this to be close by at all times. :-/