How are you?
I keep staring at my blog wondering what to write about. There's loads but nothing i can put into words. It's been tough times. So i began to wonder people must be going through things in their lives that no one online can ever understand. We post in our blogs but not really about the real stuff. The stuff that happens day to day. Things we don't really put in a blog or too much to put in a post because it'll take pages and pages. How do you put into words something that's emotional?
I don't really talk about the struggle it is to live with grown adults all in one house. Sisters going through shit that is unimaginable. Me balancing moods and attitudes coming from all directions from everyone, especially from my other sister because she's sooo effin' screwed up emotionally right now and takes it out on everyone! The whole house is in a bad mood because of it. It's so bad i find myself conversing with her in a certain tone of voice and rethinking things before they come out of my mouth so they don't come out insulting just so she won't start up again. Then coming home to a pissed/hurt mother who is sometimes threatened by her own daughter and having to calm her down too. I've done this, I've realized, since i was young. You just know your family and learn how to manage them emotionally. Almost like teaching yourself to be a damn psychologist. As weird as it sounds, I have a self taught degree in psychology. I just don't have the diploma to prove it. It's tough being the peace maker in a household. I'm the one they all go to when they're all not talking to each other.
Stupid, tedious struggles like this allll the timeee. It's exhausting. Even witting this I'm still refraining from saying certain things i don't want to mention. I sure have to pray more. Things like this that don't have solutions can only be fixed with prayer....the only way I know how to deal with them. I'm sure you have your ways.
How do you deal with things? I just wanted to know...How are you?
Hope you're all ok.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Breathe
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6 comments:
"How do you put into words something that's emotional?"
Ask Bel, she does it wonderfully.
How do I deal with it? I eat. And I don't recommend anyone that method.
Well, I can relate to almost everything you said on this post.
Sometimes we get pressured, we take all the emotional stuff from others and it all relies on us.
Sometimes I feel like a emotional dump, where everyone dumps all their emotional shit on me...and there I am: the diplomat one.
Its stressful and exausting, I know and totally get you.
How I deal with it?
Its a though question, really....
I've took confort on food....sometimes I still do it, sadly and stupidly.
As you know by now, I live in dreamland.
My head is not always in the real world and that's kinda like my getaway.
I live in dreams..the dream that one day life will be perfect.
Meanwhile, I try to keep the other's emotions away from my mind, cuz I need peace too, dammit!
But I can't help being a good listner and advice giver...I think its Karma, or something, lol.
Anyways, I hope you don't stay away from your virtual friends too long cuz I really miss you a lot and you need to let it all out!
I am always here if you need me luv
:)
Stay strong N.
I wish I knew the answer to this question. Family life can be as tiring as it can be nurturing.
All you grown ups under the same roof, continuing being parents and kids in a way, continuing being big sis, younger sis, mom, not whoever else you've also grown into.
I wish I could send you away for a couple of weeks. Live in an apartment, have a life away from the family that is not only work.
Let the family deal with each other without you helping them for a while.
I do hope things @ home will become easier for you.
She does SM doesn't she? lol!
And giiirlll i've been there done that. Food can be evil.
Awww Vanny i know :-/ Which is my escape too...Entertainment. Crazy huh? But whatevs, fuck it. When in doubt find entertainment to even out the stress. It sure helps!
That would be amazing Beige! My own apartment! lol! To dream. But then of course id feel too lonely eventually and want chaos for noise. lol Weird huh? One day.
Things are getting better *relief*
Neri, I so get where you're coming from! Being the peacemaker can be so tiring...
Don't deny yourself your own needs, though! Frustration can turn into hate so easily... (easier said than done, though)
Anyway, don't refrain from saying even the harshest things on your blog. Everyone needs a secret place to vent, AND, once you take away the inhibitions, you'll see the writing pours out without any conscious effort on your part.
Apparently diplomats eat... I do it too, and it only backfires!
Thanks for the compliment, SM and Neri. I feel very flattered.
Bel
Who said life is easy?
Don't take things so serious, don't dwell in the past, always look forward into the future with hope and a smile on your face.
Everything will be fine.
At least that's what I say to myself.
Another thing... Food is not evil!! Chocolate always helps going through shit!
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