Short bio

So my sis is apparently gonna become famous this month because she has a huge conference she needs to attend to AND speak. The CEO of our local Union SEIU will be attanding as well as the Governor and the mayor and other important people i don't know the names of (or faces). She has to provide a bio of herself and an image I fixed for her. I tastefully made her eyeshadow brown from an awful blue she had on that night....while drunk (yes, she's submitting a drunken pic of her to a huge conference to put on the program). I was soo into the blending in photoshop i actually proceeded to place my finger on the monitor and began to blend her eyeshadow with my finger. I stopped and realized I was a moron. Yes, I said with my finger. But that's not the point...

This is her bio she sent through email for us to review and critique:

[Her name inserted here] has over ten years experience working with diverse immigrant and refugee communities both as coordinator and union organizer. Currently as program Coordinator at the Massachusetts Office for Refugees and Immigrants (ORI), [her name here] manages Social Adjustment Services in Massachusetts for refugees that include Youth Adjustment Services, Translation and Interpreting Program and Post Resettlement Community Services as well as Program to Enhance Elder Services. In this capacity, she also works collaboratively with a Mutual Assistance Association, (MAA), a coalition of ten diverse refugee organizations on an Ethnic Community Self Help Initiative (ECSHI). She also volunteered with SEIU and MIRA on coordinating citizenship drives for the Ya es hora ¡Ciudadanía! Campaign. [her name here] attended Boston Public Schools and earned her B.A. in Political Science with minors in Sociology and Social Justice from Simmons College.

And that's just scratching the surface of her life (and I wonder why she doesn't have time to obsess over celebrities and fanfic like me, hm) Granted, she doesn't have her masters yet but that comes next. So I decided to go ahead and make my own short bio and 'reply to all' in the email. Let's analyze the differences, shall we?

Neri [full name and last name here] has attended art school barely making it to the the finish line and is now a procrastinating designer in a traveling company that doesn't let her travel. Sings on weekends (for no money) and does projections at 2 am Sunday mornings for a local church. Reads Twilight/Fan fic for entertainment and chats online with as much wit and humor as possible to get enough 'Facebook friend adds' who she ignores. Is still over weight annnnnd single. Drives only back roads to the movie theater yet still plans to get a mini in a rare orange color, which is questioned with a blank stare when mentioned to strangers because it's apparently not normal. Hopes for the future to become a pop star, tour and marry a gay man named Jon yet give birth to Wentworth miller babies (by force if necessary). Wears glasses at all times to avoid walking off bridges and knocking into moving cars.

I think this can inspire ANY high school dropout to continue on to college and beyond. Don't you think? I tried REALLY hard not to make it depressing. LMAO. She especially found my Went babies highly inspiring. I think I beat her.

Let's hear yours (no pressure)...

ps. Yes, i'm showing off my html skillz, as I have figured out how to make quote blocks on my own. *proud*