iPhone conversation

On the subject of haters hating on my constant iPhone FF reading....

Dad: I hate when you read on that stupid thing so much! I just wanna throw it out the window! I mean, how big is that book anyway?!
Mom/Sis: Yeah, what do you read on it so much? It's so annoying... blah blah not listening blah blah
Me: It's not a huge book! They're short stories, as in plural.

Dad: This is her... *proceeds to imitate me with phone one inch to my face*
Sis: Oh! Don't forget to scroll with your finger!
Mom: Oh yeah! Like this! *imitates some more*

Me: *evil glare* I don't do that. You're so stupid.
All: Yes, you do.
Me: No, I don't.
All: Yes, you do...*laughing*
Dad: Soon enough you'll see her scrolling with her nose *imitates scrolling with nose*
All: *more laughing*

Me: *rolls eyes* Whatevs. Ya'll are jerks. Screw you...alllll of you. *secretly thinks it might be a good idea but doesn't reveal*

Mom: *changing subject to sudden bright idea* You know, it would be a good thing for people without hands...to be able to use a phone like that and use with their nose, maybe.
Me: Ah, Ok...but what will they hold the phone with?
Mom: *word vomits without a filter and demonstrates* With one hand...?
Me: I thought they have no hands...???

*Silence*

Mom: Oh. *bites lips and goes red*
Me: *my turn to laugh till I stop breathing*

...It's so simple.