7 Pissed Virgins

Have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself thinking....
"I'm totally in a Sex in the City episode! You know, the one where Carrie refers to not being celebrated for 'being single'. Or when Miranda walks down the aisle alone at her mother's funeral because she doesn't have a partner. Or when Carrie's bitch friend tells her she has a life because she has kids now"?

I have. This past Tuesday. The only difference it was real and VERY public.

I knew it was going to get worse when i was handed some flowers and a box with a "surprise" in it and one of the youth kids sat me in the front of the church with the rest of the adult youth women. Specifically ages 25 and up.

It was 7 of us. I thought this was actually very odd, considering it is the holy number....or is it 3? Anyway the point is we were there and people applauded when we were settled in our seats. This is soooo gonna go wrong. How could they make a service for us like this? Why? Just because we didn't get pregnant and decided not to marry the wrong guy?! I don't get it.

So, the songs came in order. The pantomime came next (gag), then the sermon. Not bad. Embarrassing but livable. She wasn't looking at us though, probably because i had a pissed expression on my face. This whole putting-us-in-a-glass-case-for-people-to-stare wasn't exactly comfortable for me.

I look down and realized i didn't open the box. So i grab it and open it. Warning, Cuing sarcasm: Lo and behold. Exactly what i needed and was longing for all my life. My goal and dream in life...my aspiration. It was a giant sized wedding ring sitting on a piece of silk like royalty. *sigh* ...the fuck?! I don't get it. Is this what they think i need? Is this what they think a single person thinks about and at all times?! ...THE FUCK?!?!

At this point i'm looking around because surely I'm being Punk'd.

Close the box Neri, quick!

Finally the sermon was over and i thought we were finally going to be set free from this humility. But no, it's not done 'till you're on the floor bleeding, hanging on for dear life!!! We get a greating from a very familiar face and she grabs the mic to tell us what i describe as the peek of the Sex in the City episode.

I don't know if it was before of after the..."I know you're all lacking in a man's touch and need it very much..." Or the "Your parents still take care of you but you'll learn one day to be independent with your husband..." where I flipped out and moved ever so slightly to begin to get up and run for it. I don't know if it was before or after being insulted straight in my face in public, where I found my blood literally rushing out of my head down to my toes, that i felt like screaming at the top of my lungs.

I don't know what else can be worse than this. What else can be beyond insulting?!

I think i've exceeded a Sex in the City episode and was just plain hurt. The writers would NEVER be able to think this up. Only the AMAZING people we have as leaders.

Thanks!
Pathetic, worthless, desperate, in need of a mans touch to feel accomplished in life, single person signing out,
-neri