One of the worst moments to cut the cheese

Do you know when is the most inappropriate moment to fart?

Of course, you'd think it's at any moment. But the worst is when you're standing by your mom, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair out to calm her because she's crying hysterically.

She cries because things are sooo messed up right now. So messed up, that it makes her want to sit in front of the computer and play a horrible version of solitaire I found free online. Our PC was replaced with a mac and mac doesn't provide games, so she lost all her great games from our old PC (whoever made mac comps and forgot to put solitaire in it is an asshole. Die.). She plays and plays and plays as she cries.

I hear her from my room and I already know exactly what it is. I can't do anything because I don't have the answer or the solution to the problem. So, I just stand there and rub her back and tell her once in a few minutes how she has to calm down or she'll get sick again. All the while I stare at the screen kicking myself because I feel horrible she's still playing that horrible game of solitaire. Why haven't I walked to the damn mall and buy her a better one? Why?!

So, I feel it coming and I fart. Not exactly the best moment to do so but, guess what? Shit happens (No pun intended). But it sort of distracts me with thoughts about it being horribly NOT funny and how it insults the moment — the atmosphere around you where it's very emo and sad and heartbreaking. Yet, it interrupts just like that, like it has no care what's going on in the world. It's not like the other person can tell you, "Hey, that was funny," or "Hey, that was gross," and laugh about it. No, they can't and they won't. It's like it makes it awkward and makes the person crying feel like you just don't care about her feelings.

So, I ignore the gesture and so does she (unless she didn't notice). I pretend to clean my room to make her stop crying (at this point we're in my room) and It works. So, I keep pretending till I tell myself, What the heck? might as well clean it all at 12 o'colck at night.

And guess what? It did make her feel better. She even laughed once while she tackled one of my too-fully-loaded drawers. The type where you can't open it a quarter of an inch and if you just need to stuff something in, you start stuffing right where it let you open. Cleaning makes her feel better, so I let her do it. Though, just watching her makes me feel like a bad person for letting her.

So, yes, things are depressing right now. But it's funny what invades your brain just so you won't go insane and pull your hair out from all the problems. For this, I allowed one single brief chuckle at myself and that was it.

Lesson here is: If you ever really need to cut the cheese, don't ruin the moment...do it some other time.

ps. I have gas/heartburn... so sue me.